Redemption Church: God's Got This

As part of the #UnionCollegeChallenge - doing something outside of my comfort zone - I pledged to work on my spirituality/religious beliefs. I think I am spiritual but I don't consider myself religious. In fact, organized religion scares me. I have never gotten overwhelmed in church in the way that I have in nature. As part of the Challenge, I committed attend a different place of worship once a month. I want to be close to people who fully believe. Could I ever be one of them? REDEMPTION CHURCH 9/24/18 (born again? not even really sure) This morning Mike and I attended Redemption Church which meets on the second floor in Proctor's Theater. I had looked it up ahead of time and knew that it was much different than any other service I had been to (primarily formal Presbyterian services). The pastor is Jason Cooper whom I had invited to President Harris's community breakfast as part of Schenectady Day. Angela Tatem from the Kenney Community Center on campus had recommended Pastor Jason attend because Union students attend services there, and I really enjoyed meeting him. Plus I was very intrigued by the location - a theater. I texted Pastor this morning to give him the heads up that Mike and I would be attending. He texted back that it would be an honor. We walked into Proctor's Arcade and two young women (teenagers? early 20s?) were at the bottom of the stairs welcoming people to Redemption. At the top of the stairs there were signs with encouraging words like "You are amazing today!". A woman named Wanda was at the the door welcoming folks. I walked in and saw Pastor Jason and he gave me a big hug. He was wearing a black and red checked shirt and jeans - much more casual and low key than any other church experience I've had. It was a comfortable atmosphere. There were no crosses. No explicit visuals of Christianity. Good energy. The service was in the Fenimore Room with chairs set up with pledge forms on the seats facing windows that look into Proctor's. The room was full but not crowded. I would say the room was probably an even half white and half black congregation with a wide range of ages. 7-8 Union students had chairs along the wall. Mike and I found a seat somewhere in the middle. Steven Musso started playing music. It was up lifting. Dynamic. A woman starting singing with the lyrics projected on the wall. Some of the attendees were nodding and lifting their arms up in prayer. Her voice was amazing. She seemed to be completely consumed by her love for Jesus as she sang. She was unabashed. I had a hard time thinking that I could ever surrender myself that way. Then another woman sang and, again, her voice was amazing and she totally belted out messages of Jesus and God from her heart. All of the musicians looked so comfortable and joyful. Then Pastor Jason preached. There were a lot of A-mens! and nodding throughout. Arms raised up toward heaven and slowly waving. He was at times glib and fun, and other times intense in his delivery. I thought his sermon was supportive - no matter how hard and difficult your life is, it's part of God's plan. Whether or not you are a believer or however you live your life, HE already knows your path. The notion of pre-determination was interesting - that God already knows your path because he starts at the end and then goes to the beginning. I think it was supposed to be comforting - that if you lose your job, go through a divorce, fight cancer, "HE's got this." The congregation was full of people who could have very challenging lives. Schenectady has a strong community but also one with the highest child poverty rates in the state if not the nation Mike took issue because the sermon suggests that you can conceivably do whatever you want (bad behavior) because your destiny has been pre-determined so there is no need to make efforts to be moral. Mike said he believes that church is all about morality, hope, and courage. True but....in my opinion there is so much hypocrisy in the church that I turn away in disgust. Churchgoers who are "pro-life" but don't take issue when someone murders an abortionist. Priests at the highest levels of the church covering up decades-long (probably hundreds of years), systemic rape of children. "Love Thy Neighbor" unless she is a single mom receiving public assistance and then blame and shame her. My negativity toward the church is exacerbated by the news so I want to be near the many honest churchgoers who fully embrace the bible and its teachings. Pastor Jason performed a Dedication (baptism-ish ceremony) with a baby who was soooooo attentive and calm and seemingly knowing (kinda blew my mind). Pastor Jason took the baby from his father's arms and just spoke into the microphone so confidently and reassuring. I liked that he handed the mother a white carnation to celebrate the awesomeness of motherhood, and a red carnation for the father along with a rose bud to blossom with the life of the child. And he also threw in some baby's breath to the bouquet. At one point Pastor Jason asked that we close our eyes but raise our hands if we are feeling broken and in need of comfort. He was so non-judgmental and supportive. I was amazed at how open and expressive people were. At the end of the service he asked for donations and invited people to join a group, saying that attending church once a week was not enough. I left the service feeling upbeat and rejuvenated. I was in a good mood. I liked that there was no judging - people didn't look to see who we were or pressure us to come back. I have felt scrutiny and then resentment at church when there was a gap in our attendance. I texted Pastor Jason later and thanked him for the upbeat, positive, musical session. He replied that it was an honor having us. No "We expect to see you soon." I will let him know that David Harris will be at the Greenmarket on October 7. Hopefully he will stop by. We might be back. Mike and I browsed around the Greenmarket and then met all three kids (such a treat!) for brunch at Perrecca's. We told them about the service and they seemed intrigued. We have not forced any religious doctrine on them but have encouraged them to seek their spirituality. Haley is at Siena and can explore religion, not just Jesuit. Jack is intrigued by Buddhism. Hanna is open to going. We had a really really nice day. NOTE: Before the church service I caught sight of "the spitter" down the road from Redemption. Last January, before Haley went back to college, we went to Johnny's and had a nice lunch. When we were in the car about to leave, a man approached the car - I thought he was the driver of the car next to me and needed to talk. I rolled down the window, and long story short, he was from Ellis Hospital and wanting money. I said I didn't have any (I did), and he verbally assaulted me then SPIT on my hair and face. It was so demoralizing. Haley just wanted to go home, and I returned after I got cleaned up but couldn't find him. So when I was just a block from Redemption I saw him taking money from another woman in her car with children. This enraged me. At first I passed by but then I circled back, leaving Mike up the road. I gently knocked on the woman's window and signaled for her NOT to give him money. She shrugged because she already had. Then I turned to him and yelled at him that he preyed on women and children in cars, and it's wrong. I told him that he had spit on me, that he called me a bitch cunt in front of my daughter. He was not impressed by my rant and kept talking about how I deserved it. I took out my iphone and took a picture of him. This whole time he is saying awful things but I got to tell him how I felt about his behavior. It all sounds so awful but it made me very happy that I confronted him because I felt to helpless at the time. Then I go to church, and on my way out I see a cop. I show him the picture and the cop says, "Oh that asshole. Where is he?" I had to explain that I had only four minutes to get to Redemption and I didn't see a cop then. The cop told me that he'd "take care of him" and that ten years ago the guy would have had no teeth left. EEESH. Lots of moral dilemmas floating in my brain. BUT the question remains: What are the chances of my confronting him on the way to church???

I survived week one of "pre-training"...weight training (dear God, so painful, borderline humiliatiting), treadmill (I SO prefer the outdoors!), and a "long" run of 5.5 on the bike path with Tracy. It was sunny, not windy, and quite enjoyable. I think my muscles are benefiting from the conditioning, and I am back at it again today. My heel is a concern. Plantar fasciitis has been nagging at me since October. Last night I got out my stash of epsom salts, took a hot tub with the jets pointed directly on my heel, and ...it felt worse later. I put compression socks on to wear to bed which actually seemed to help, and I have a gel pad on right now with my boots that I wore to work. I've also been sticking an ice pack on my heel whenever I have the opportunity. Down 7 lbs. Have 20 to go. Many more miles to run. Daunting.

Wakely Dam Ultra - and so it begins

I am back, four years and 15 pounds later. Looking back at this blog, I am a little sad that I didn't capture the NYC Marathon. It was truly one of the best days of my life. I enjoyed every step. Really. We (Tracy, John and I) were prepared, having run 600 miles before setting off over the Verrazano Narrows Bridge. There was a 35 mph headwind the first 18 miles, but that did not deter us. We high-fived our way through the neighborhoods, and the energy of the NYC crowds ignited our energy throughout. We finished much slower than anticipated - 5 hours 11 minutes, but we ran the whole way and really wouldn't have changed a thing. Mike, Haley, Hanna, and Jack came to cheer us on, and it was awesome seeing them throughout the run. Ironically, after the marathon, I had no desire to run. Initially, I wanted to take advantage of my fitness and try to qualify for Boston. That excitement disappeared over the course of winter, though, as did my fitness and ooomph. Now, three years later, I have signed up for a 55k "ultra" run in the Adirondacks. I am out of shape. I have not been running. I have four months to train. Last week I worked out with a trainer, Mya, at the college gym. It was late afternoon and I was surrounded by 18-21 year olds. We went to the free weight room and we were the only women. It was painful. More painful than I thought. Why? Because this time I feel middle aged training. I joked with the trainer that I should wear a t-shirt that says, CAN YOUR MOTHER DO THIS?. I have faith that I will get in shape but it's always tough in the beginning. After our first session, I was sore for two weeks. I thought I had thrown out my back. The second was horrible too but not as bad. The third, earlier this week, was discouraging but not AS horrible. And that is where I am. I've had plantar fasciitis issues since October but need to start running. Mya said I should do between 6-12 miles per week during this building phase. Training starts April 6. Tracy and I met for coffee on Saturday and discussed our goals: 1.) Don't die. 2.) Finish. We hope to finish around 7 hours. Other goals: - conditioning. I want sculpted arms and less crepey skin on my legs (Is this too much to ask? I think not.) Weight lifting has never appealed to me, but I can see how it feels empowering once you've established a certain level of fitness. This is the first time I've worked out with a trainer. I am going to keep it up once/week w Mya and on my own one other day per week. - eating. I have 15-20 lbs to lose. I did not lose any weight for the NYC marathon because I ate whatever I wanted. This is not good. With more muscle from weight training I should burn off much more fat. That is the plan. - running. I don't want to get hurt. I trained smart for NYC and need to do the same. The question is: Will I have enough time? Will I be able to find the time for my long runs with schedules for crew and soccer, etc. The kids are in high school and I don't want to miss their games and regattas.I will also likely jip Bodie, our pooch, out of some long walks. He's good, though, with trips to the dog park. And Haley can help with that when she gets home later this semester. - fulfillment. Already I am fretting, and I want to take time to enjoy small accomplishments (I ran three miles on treadmill today and it didn't kill me) without worrying about the distance I signed up for. When I am in shape, my body can take running. I historically do not have knee issues, etc. and I think I can do this if I do it smart.

New York City Marathon

I'm in for 2014. 50 weeks. Tracy and I went for a run yesterday for the first time in months. I'm recovering from a heel injury and back-to-school mayhem. I said let's do "short run, long coffee." Sounded perfect. We met at the bike path for a "zen run" and she all-too-casually mentioned that her friend John (a cancer survivor with whom she has run two half marathons) will be part of a fundraising team for New York. His sister who lives on Long Island is organizing a team of four, they asked Tracy, and she said she'd do it if her running partner could. Hmmmm! The back part of my brain recalled my signing her up for the Reach the Beach relay without asking her because I just KNEW she'd love it even before she did. I have tried to get into NY several times but Tracy wanted NO part of it. Now here we were plotting our strategy with a new mindset: If not now, when? I told her that our friend Diane likened the finish of NY to that of giving birth. Tracy was horrified thinking of the pains of labor but I laughed and clarified - what Diane meant was the euphoria, the feeling of ultimate accomplishment, the off-the-charts sense of pride. At least that's what I thought she meant. I think we can do this. It will be hard work. And my house will get messier.

5 Boro Bike Tour May 5, 2013

I don’t recall exactly how the Tour popped in my head as a must for 2013, but I’m glad it did.  It was fun, exhilarating, and exhausting. 

Every time I travel to a major city I wonder how people can be so bold as to ride a bike amidst cab drivers, buses, tourists, pedestrians, and other bikes.  I’ve always marveled at their ability and audacity weaving their way through the streets, and I’d think I’ll never do that. That’s stupid. Irresponsible even.  But…I loved it.

I had posted the Tour on facebook in early January as I contemplated my Bucket List 2013.  I wanted to do something outside my comfort zone.  A few friends showed interest and two committed right away – Will and Sheryl.  It didn’t take much to convince Mike who loves biking and loves New York City.  Once the registration date arrived, I signed us up.  I was at work surrounded by distractions and I had a 15 minute limit to enter all of our information – birthdate, rider number, etc.  Time was ticking, and I saw that I had to come up with a name. I thought about something the four of us have in common.  We became Team Coffee IPA.

Once again, on the eve of a major athletic endeavor I took stock of my training and fitness and felt unprepared.  I knew I could do it but that it would probably take some mental muscle to get me through. Sometimes I wonder if it’s the mental push that gives me a fix and that’s why I don’t worry about preparing, and other times I think I am just too undisciplined and busy to train properly.  Someday I’d like to find out how it feels to say “I couldn’t have done any more to prepare.” Somehow I don’t see myself drastically changing my ways for relays or bike tours, but perhaps for something major like the NYC Marathon. Mike likes to get lots of activity in right before an event – he ran tons before Ragnar, and biked to work before the Tour.  I believe in tapering.  I assume a level of fitness, expect it to hurt a little, count on determination, and then think…bring it on!

We got to the city around 3:30.  The Expo began was open until 7:00.  I called Will to check in and see his whereabouts.  He was in the city on his way so we cracked open some cold beers (IPA!) and waited for his arrival.  He joined us for another beer and we all cabbed to the Expo where Sheryl was on a mission to find sunglasses and a jacket. It was chilly, cooler than upstate which was surprising.  The Expo was crowded but well organized. We got our numbers and went to find a bar to catch the Kentucky Derby.  We ended up on Front Street in the South Seaport area and wondered why there were so many vacant buildings and lots of construction.  The streets were mostly quiet. Weird.  We found a bar with cheap beer and caught the Kentucky Derby just in time for the big race. Very fun.  As we walked a bit to find dinner we heard that the vacant streets were due to Hurricane Sandy.  Whoa. I really had no idea that part of the city was still suffering.  Unbelievable.

 

A cab got us to Little Italy and we ate cheap Italian food that did the trick.  It was getting late so we went back to the hotel and chilled.  In keeping with tradition for all the events I’ve done with Sheryl, she got out her angel cards and we each picked one.  Mike picked TRUST, Will chose FRIENDSHIP, and I picked POWER.  I thought those were all great selections.  Sheryl is the best person to have around whenever you need inspiration or just plain fun.

I woke up early after a restful (but not deep) sleep and put on my riding gear. Short sleeves, light jacket, and grabbed a pair of riding shorts (or so I thought…).  Sheryl got me a “man pouch” that buckled to my waist. The Tour restricted back packs in the Boston aftermath so I put my iphone and ID in the leather pouch.  I needed to bring my camera (iphone).  My friends are always very patient with me during a run or ride when I stop and click to capture something.  And since this was a ride and not a race I wanted to take full advantage. We had to leave before 7:00 am when continental breakfast was served, so Sheryl tried her best to make coffee from the packets in the hotel suite. She and I managed to have a few sips but everyone else passed. No coffee in Team Coffee IPA.

We were out the door!  We had to ride four miles to get to the start at Battery Park.  I was a little uneasy about riding with cars but the streets were mostly empty.  And it was fantastic.  We rode through Time Square with hardly anyone around.  At one point a cab pulled away from the curb in front of Will but he eased his way around it.  He possesses an enviable level of comfort gliding along on his bike. He weaves his way through without hesitation. And with good reason - he said he used to be a bike messenger in DC. 

We stopped at a corner market for bananas and bagels and ate a bit at the start where thousands gathered with their bikes ready to ride. With one foot clipped in, we scooted along for a while. My leg muscle started to ache a little from the awkward positioning. Hmmm. This was not exceptionally fun.  But we finally made our way to the official start and off we went.  Slowly.  I was relieved that there were not a lot of small kids zig-zagging along which can be stressful, nor were there dynamos breathing down our backs. It was a respectful group. We made our way north up the Avenue of Americas to Central Park, through Harlem (where there were drums and singing along the street, very cool) on Seventh and then a quick trip in and out of the Bronx. This was a little disappointing because my father had given me a few landmarks to look for. He was born in the Bronx and it was kind of neat thinking about unknown extended family nearby. While he hasn’t maintained relations, my father has done enough research to know about some of his cousins, the McGinns, who are FDNY.  Anyway, we blinked and we were out of the Bronx and back in Manhattan.  I loved riding along FDR Drive.  I have to admit, however, that at this point my rear was feeling a bit sore.  More like the pelvic bone area. OK, fine, the crotch area.  The roads were not smooth, but they were scenic, and I was taking it all in.  The Queensboro Bridge into Queens was my favorite part of the ride. I appreciated the cheering of NYers too.  “Hah, you think you’re outta breath NOW? You gotta ways to go!” Great bridge, and we took a moment at the top to take some pictures and drink some water. In Queens we stopped in Astoria Park at a major rest area that was jam packed with bikes. There were no lines for freebies—yogurt, bananas, pretzels, granola— and a manageable line for port-a-potties, and I was again amazed at the size and ease of the event. We were half way done.

Will and Sheryl on Queensboro Bridge

Snacking at rest area

We moved on through Queens.  I thought with 32,000 bikes on the road we’d lose one another but not so.  We stayed together throughout the ride mostly in pairs, changing up our riding partners and keeping an eye on where the others were.  I was surprised, too, that we kept seeing the same folks along the way.

I tried to keep my painful crotch suffering to myself but I did cry out once in a while when I hit a good bump. GAH. Awful. The roads were very bumpy.  I felt bruised and unsure whether it was best to stand up over bumps to avoid them or to just stay seated so I wouldn’t have to feel the pain of sitting down again. Mike mentioned that he heard a noise with my bike, possibly the back brake. I squeezed it, the bike slowed down, I thought it must work fine, and moved on.  We continued through Queens, crossed the Pulaski Bridge into Brooklyn where the road winds along the waterfront, and then onto the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. We seemed to be in Queens for a while. I was getting sweaty and thought about taking off my jacket. As we approached the Verrazano Narrows Bridge (which took a long time, miles and miles of signage leading to the bridge) there was a strong head wind and I was glad I left the jacket on.  I felt fatigued but not out of gas. Mike was going full speed ahead but often looked over his shoulder to spot me, Sheryl was a little ahead, and I wasn’t sure where Will was. I thought he might have finished and was taking a nap at the finish line.  Mike tried to cheer me on but I growled at him so he left me alone. 

Finally, I saw the BRIDGE, the huge, magnificent Verrazano Narrows Bridge. I was elated because it was awesome and it also meant we were on the home stretch.  Going up, up, up the Bridge I was amazed at cyclists pulling children behind them or the mother who was on a tandem bike with her child on back.  Good for them! And yet…I thought…why were they ahead of me??  The air got chilly over the water. Then it got downright COLD. It was strange. I could see my breath.  It felt good.

At the top of the bridge I heard my name called.  I turned and there was Team IPA (we dropped the coffee part).  Yay, Team IPA! We took pictures and rejoiced. The scene was breathtaking. Barges, helicopters, buildings, boats, it was all good. Then we headed down, which seemed to take no time, and when Staten Island first appeared we could see the FINISH line.  Mike and I tried to give each other high fives at the finish and came ridiculously close to crashing into each other and into the photographer. (I will be interested to see those race photos.) We made it.

Team IPA smartly decided not to partake in the post-ride feeding frenzy but continued on the three or so miles to the ferry. I liked that ride. I loved the neighborhood. I felt a great sense of accomplishment. The ferry ride itself was smooth, and the line getting there was not bad. In the 15 minutes or so we waited we could see the line of bikes getting longer and longer. Mike looked at me and said, “You know you’re not wearing riding shorts, those are Tri shorts, right?”  Hmmmph.

Back in Manhattan.  The streets were no longer our own. Ugh. Mike started toward real streets and I felt a sense of dread, and then Will noticed a bike path. We took the bike path and cruised along the water, and it was nice. And then it got a little crowded with pedestrians.  And then my legs started burning.  And I was beat.  And hungry.  And I could feel my inner bitch simmering deep down inside me.  Four miles felt far.  I said nothing. We were back at South Seaport (didn’t we pay the cabbie $$$ for getting us there the night before and now we’re relying on bikes to get us back after a long ride??) I got a teensy bit snappish with Mike, making sure he knew the way and then saying I was considering popping off my wheel and grabbing a cab. We moved on. We were finally off the path, back on the streets of NYC with cars, cabs, the whole bit BUT I noticed we were riding on a green bike lane. Really? In NYC? A friendly bike lane? Impressive. Soon we saw 3^rd Ave, and we were at 3^rd and Lex so we made it.  All sweaty and tired, we walked our bikes onto the polished white marble entrance of the San Carlos Hotel.  Waiting for the elevator, Mike picked up the seat of my bike and spun the back wheel.  It didn’t move very freely.  Resistance, capital R. So that might explain why my legs were on fire…

Back in the room…hot shower, cold beer, happy me.  We tried to find a restaurant nearby to suck down a hardy lunch and ended up at the diner across the street.  Afterwards, we all said farewell to Will, Sheryl and I handed the keys to Mike, and we headed home.  

INGNYC

What is it about this race that I'm drawn to? I have no desire to run a marathon, but every April I find myself compelled to sign up for this race. Very odd. This morning I got to work, sipped coffee, logged onto the site and without a moment of contemplation signed up. Of course they had all of my info on there from last year making it too easy to click and sign up. I texted Amy right away, and got her to sign up too. I think we could pull it off if a BIG goal were in sight.

Re BIG, it has occurred to me that I don't do much in moderation. I do all or nothing. Right now I have been doing nothing. Eating Easter candy, sleeping in (school break), etc. If I don't get into the ING, which is likely with a 10% chance of success, I should just sign up for something and get moving. It's so hard to start from zero.

Last year I contemplated signing up and raising $3k for MS. This month is the 15 year anniversary of my diagnosis. Maybe it's a sign I should. I think I could raise $2k fairly easily from family and friends but the other $1k...not so sure. Facebook and Twitter could be helpful. I'll have to think about it.

Maybe I should do it.

If not now, when?

Day 1 of training - hills

This morning Amy, Tracy, and I headed out for a hill workout. We paid the price for not maintaining a good workout schedule this winter. The weekends away for hockey led to eating out a lot and skipping long runs on Sundays. SIGH. No chance to train for MORE half marathon -- we skipped it for the first time in five years. So now we're beginning in April training that we usually start in January...

I kinda like running hills. I see one coming up and I feel adrenaline rush through me, quickening my heart rate and accelerating my pace as I get to the base. I don't look up for the most part. I feel my body working hard and I have to dig deep. Today I even had to put on my Ragnar warrior face when we pushed through the last hill. I was a little light headed afterward and thankfully brought water. I have never been good about hydration.

I find myself relying less and less on music when I run. Doing hills used to be reason to get a good play list going but this morning I left my ipod at the hut at the top of the hill. The headphone wire was tangling and annoying me. I also wanted full use of my arms without risking yanking the wire and pulling the earphones out. I didn't miss the ipod when I left it behind.

We ran a steep hill four times, walking a short distance in between and taking water to cool down. I knew if I did more than four I'd be seeking out my pillow afterwards. I've got too much going on right now on weekends to sacrifice an afternon with a long nap. I'm all about 20 minute rests but on days that I push my body really hard I sometimes sink into a deep sleep and awaken feeling groggy and sluggish.

My Ragnar legs are 6.1 hard, 7.8 very hard, 3.4 easy. I haven't looked at the course yet but know that my middle leg is North Shore Drive in Lake George. I know every inch of the road. I was a little concerned that I'd be out in the middle of Keene Valley without a clue where I am, which can be creepy at 1:00 am. Now I might try to recruit some friends to run that leg with me. It will be difficult to do late at night. The hill by the cemetary is steep. It's a straight line which is good for someone with NO sense of direction whatsoever. I ran a 10 mile Lake Shore Drive race back
in college. I was out until 1 am or so eating chicken wings and drinking beer and dreamt that I had missed the race and was really mad at myself. So I woke up early, put on my brand new running shoes, stuck my key inside them and headed out the door. I went out WAY too fast and died at mile 7. Awful. That night I had blood blisters under my toenails and had to waitress at the Algonquin. I hobbled along, apologizing to customers who seemed rather amused by my wobbling. Now I'm 20 years older and feel better prepared than I did then.

Anyway, Ragnar is HILLS, HILLS, HILLS so Amy, Tracy, and I decided no more flat runs, even when we're running long. We're going to take turns being in charge of the weekend workout. Next weekend is Easter, I have a wedding to go to on Saturday, so I am coming up with a route on Good Friday. 8-10 miles with some decent hills packed in.

I'm looking forward to shedding my 8 lbs of winter weight. No wine last night, no wine tonight. Mindy gave me some tips yesterday while we ran 4. She is incredibly fit and eats like a nutritionist so I will try heed her advice: ONE cup coffe, EIGHT glasses of water (hmmmmm), cut back on wine, eat lots of protein (2-3 egg whites with one yolk mixed with spinach and feta for breakfast), Greek yogurt (ick) with fresh fruit (yum), plain oatmeal (ick) with cinnamin (yum), salads, chicken, fish...I like most of her recommendations so it shouldn't be terrible.

Tortola is four weeks away and I can't fit into my summer clothes. I think if I keep up no wine and up the running I'll be all right. I'm not buying bigger clothes.